Tesla’s Newest Model 3 To Run On Plastic Straws


SAN CARLOS, CA – Elon Musk and Tesla recently announce an updated version of the Model 3 that integrates The Mr. Fusion Home Energy Reactor in concert with the cars lithium-ion battery in effect allowing the car to run entirely off of plastic straws.

“I read a story last week that stated that Americans use about 500 million straws each day!  That adds up to roughly 142 billion straws per year.” said a concerned Musk.  “By integrating the Mr. Fusion Home Energy Reactor into the Model 3’s flux capacitor we can power the car for up to 300 miles on just a handful of used straws!”

Always one to get inspiration from the latest controversy Musk spent the better part of the last 72 hours locked in his basement solving the worlds plastic straw problem.

“Instead of eliminating plastic straws altogether and potentially harming people with disabilities who wouldn’t be able to drink without one everyone should purchase a Tesla Mr. Fusion Home Energy Reactor and Tesla Powerwall and lets make a dent in the Great Pacific Garbage Patch!” says Musk.

As of 2018 plastic straws account for less than 1% of total plastic generated in the U.S. each year.  Tesla will began pre-sales of its Mr. Fusion by weeks end.