WASHINGTON, D.C. – Not wasting any time on organizing Space Force, the newly established 6th branch of the U.S. Armed Forces, Secretary of Defense James Mattis opened recruitment this week.
“I don’t think we need an excuse to conquer space,” said General Saul Woodard. “It’s like Mattis always says ‘Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet’ and now we have that place for space!”
The President believes that establishing a military presence in space not only serves American interests but sends a message to the rest of the world and to extraterrestrial life that we’re not to be messed with.
Says an enthused Woodard, “The first thing Space Force will do is erect a huge billboard on the moon that looks like this…”