BEL AIR, LOS ANGELES, CA – In a first for Buddhists, Hindus, Sikhs, Jains or any human being Elon Musk has achieved nirvana through constantly focusing on solving dozens of problems at the same time instead of clearing his mind and emptying himself of all thought and feeling.
“It all started really with a dare from a Twitter user that I couldn’t help save those kids trapped in a cave in Thailand,” said an enlightened Musk. “One thing led to another, I go from solving Flint Michigan’s lead tainted water supply to curing cancer in the same weekend. Next thing I know I have a complete sense of inner peace and freedom from karma!”
Most disciples never reach complete enlightenment and instead spend decades as monks emptying themselves out in solitude and servitude hoping for a taste of nirvana.
“Maybe Buddha was partially wrong,” said Kailan Vega a Buddhist monk. “It seems some people achieve nirvana through denying pleasure and some achieve nirvana through a complete embrace of it…”