VANCOUVER, BC – Elon Musk’s latest startup Erickson Enterprises is developing a Star Trek like “Transporter” that can beam anything instantaneously across great distances rendering almost all of Elon Musk’s other companies completely irrelevant.
“I realized in the midst of trying to solve a myriad of challenges with bringing Tesla and SpaceX to market that I wasn’t thinking big enough,” says Musk. “If we could just beam people from one city to another we wouldn’t need tunnels underground or any cars at all,” exclaimed a reinvigorated Musk.
“Instead of using the Falcon Heavy to launch a car into space I could’ve just beamed my red convertible Tesla Roadster to Mars using the latest Erickson BFT,” Musk said with regret.
At the time of writing this story Musk’s contract engineers were behind schedule due to issues with the massive amount of energy and data storage necessary to transport the genetic information of just one single human cell. “To perform the equivalent to the Star Trek teleportation scenario it requires the equivalent of 330 megatons of energy,” James Doohan, Erickson Enterprises Chief Engineer said, “and even when we’re giving the BFT all we got we just don’t have that kinda power.”